How to Meet Girls from a Distance

How to Meet Girls from a Distance is a charmingly quirky New Zealand rom-com about a hapless “peeping Tom” with a crush. Made on a shoestring budget through the country’s first “Make My Movie” contest, this 2012 feature (directed by Dean Hewison and co-written by co-star Richard Falkner) feels like a secret Kiwi gem. It’s an absurd, irreverent comedy that plays much funnier than its modest production values might suggest. The story follows Toby (Richard Falkner), a painfully shy graphic designer whose disastrous dating past has left him afraid of real face-to-face encounters. After a violent rejection in a café (where he literally got stabbed for asking the wrong girl out​), Toby vows never to meet his crushes until he knows absolutely everything about them. With the reluctant help of a blowhard dating coach, he embarks on increasingly zany stalking schemes to woo Phoebe (Scarlet Hemingway). Along the way we get offbeat characters, cringe-worthy hi-jinks, and a surprisingly sweet heart under all the weirdness. This review will dig into the background, plot and characters, performances, visual style, reception, and more – giving a full picture of this little Kiwi comedy.

Background and Production

This film’s origin is almost as crazy as its story. How to Meet Girls from a Distance was the winner of New Zealand’s first-ever Make My Movie competition (a project of NZ Herald, NZFC and NZ On Air) – essentially a contest to crowdsource a feature film idea and crew​. The winning team (“Traces of Nut”) had years of experience making 48-hour short films, but next to no feature experience. Still, they beat 756 other entrants to claim the NZ$100,000 prize​. The result is a creative, fast-produced movie – the script was written in just two weeks and shooting wrapped in only 17 days​. It even made its world premiere at the 2012 NZ International Film Festival.

Dean Hewison (credited as director and co-writer) led the project, with Richard Falkner and Sam Dickson also on the writing team​. Falkner not only co-wrote the script, he also stars as Toby, the romantic loser around whom the film revolves. Producers Ruth Korver and Andrew Beattie shepherded the low-budget production, with Ant Timpson (of the 48Hours fame) on board as executive producer​. On a technical level, Matty Warmington pulled double duty as director of photography and editor​, keeping things lean. The film’s tight shooting schedule and budget meant it feels a bit raw in places – you can sense the “48-hour film” grit in the performances and production design. But the energy is high throughout. The background of the movie is therefore a bit of a media story itself: a group of Kiwi indie filmmakers using social media voting and guerilla marketing to get people interested before production even began​.

Despite (or because of) its DIY origins, How to Meet Girls from a Distance gained some festival traction and awards attention. It bowed at NZIFF 2012 to a good response. It later snagged the Grand Prix du Jury (Best Film) at France’s Festival des Antipodes​, and earned six nominations at the (so-called) 2012 New Zealand Film Awards – including Best Film, Director, Screenplay, and acting nods for Falkner, Jonathan Brugh and Aidee Walker​. For a half-baked rom-com, that’s a respectable haul of recognition.

Plot and Characters

At its core, How to Meet Girls from a Distance is a madcap story about obsession, crushes and going way overboard in love. Toby is our hopeless hero: a graphic designer who can’t catch a break with women. He’s been through so many awkward encounters that his mom pressures him to see a “dating coach” named Carl Stewart (a wild, manic performance by Jonathan Brugh)​. We learn early on that Toby used to fabricate entire relationships just to placate his mother – literally setting up “snapshot” photo montages of fake girlfriends to pretend to date someone​. In one quick reveal it’s clear he even paid for plastic surgery (why?) to seem more confident in dating. But when he catches sight of Phoebe, all that fake dating chicanery goes out the window. Phoebe (Scarlet Hemingway) is a bright-eyed, sweet SPCA worker whom Toby assumes is the one.

“Phoebe” is everything Toby has dreamed of: pretty, compassionate toward animals, and slightly quirky. He becomes determined to know everything about her before he ever approaches her in person. This is the film’s big gimmick – Toby steals glasses, creeps through hedges, and even digs through Phoebe’s recycling (literally empty cereal boxes and mail) to retrieve personal details. As the NZIFF synopsis cheekily notes, “take pre-dating research to dangerous extremes – forget Facebook, it’s amazing what you can learn from someone’s recycling”​. There are scenes of Toby reading Phoebe’s journals, tracking her bus route, and even photographing her through bedroom windows – all played for dark comedic effect. Despite the obvious creepiness, the film makes Toby sympathetically nerdy. He tries to be a good guy (he even lies to himself that he’s being thorough for “her sake”), and his shy, slightly sweaty energy is meant to be endearing, not truly villainous​.

Phoebe is, by contrast, the “normal” romantic lead. She’s kind, a bit ditzy, and puzzled by Toby’s very presence in her life (since he’s secretly been orbiting her for weeks). She also has a steady boyfriend, Brad (Owen Black), who serves as the romantic obstacle. Brad is the stereotypical nice but boring guy, and Toby grudgingly acknowledges that if things go south, he’ll have to topple this barrier. But Phoebe is oblivious to most of Toby’s skullduggery – at first she just thinks he’s randomly eager to hang out. This naiveté plays both for laughs and for genuine affection.

Another key player is Carl Stewart, Toby’s unhinged “date coach”. Jonathan Brugh (well known as a Kiwi comedy actor) plays Carl like a cross between a megalomaniacal guru and an unhinged radio show host. He spends their sessions spouting ludicrous pickup theories (his motto: “high confidence, low standards”​) and getting Toby into further trouble. Brugh’s Carl steals every scene he’s in – he’s broad physical comedy mixed with deadpan one-liners – and many reviewers singled him out as a highlight​. Toby’s mother (Emma, played by Aidee Walker) pops up too, worried sick about his failed romances and funding the coaching sessions. Her well-meaning meddling adds a touch of Hallmark-style motherly humor, and Walker’s performance is warm if understated. The rest of the supporting cast (friends, coworkers, etc.) mostly revolve around Toby’s zany schemes, occasionally contributing laugh-out-loud moments like an impromptu exorcism in a park or a disastrous karaoke bit.

Overall, the story is a ramshackle series of comedic set pieces linked by Toby’s romantic quest. It can feel episodic, but the tone is kept consistently goofy. The plot “twists” mostly involve Toby digging himself deeper – from stealing Phoebe’s diary to eventually concocting an elaborate plan to win her over. By the third act, the film even introduces a clever reveal that undercuts our expectations (and was noted as a standout gag in reviews). In the end, the film ties its loose ends with some heart: Toby must confront the ethics of his stalking, Phoebe confronts her feelings, and Carl has a rare moment of clarity. But don’t expect a standard rom-com resolution – it’s laced with offbeat humor right to the credits.

Cast Performances

The cast of How to Meet Girls from a Distance dive into the absurd premise with full commitment. At the center is Richard Falkner (also co-writer), who plays Toby as a sweetly awkward everyman. Falkner captures Toby’s jittery charm well – a bundle of anxious energy who is somehow funny and sympathetic instead of just creepy. As one Kiwi reviewer notes, “on paper Toby could seem a creepy pervert, [but] in the hands of Falkner he’s a shy young man who gets a little carried away”​. Falkner leans into the comedy (sometimes self-deprecating and clumsy) but also grounds Toby with genuine tenderness for Phoebe. The result is a character who makes you cringe with him, not at him. In other words, Toby is more endearing anti-hero than actual villain – an intent noted by critics.

Scarlet Hemingway makes a charming impression as Phoebe. It was her first feature role, and she plays Phoebe as endlessly patient and good-natured (with just a hint of comic exasperation). Phoebe largely serves as Toby’s “girl of destiny” icon, but Hemingway brings a spark that keeps her from being a flat trope. She has some funny bits (for instance, her bewildered expressions during Toby’s odd advances) and a genuine likability that sells the film’s romantic core.

Jonathan Brugh’s Carl Stewart is the other standout. As many reviews emphasize, Brugh absolutely “steals every scene” he appears in​. His Carl is flamboyant and outrageous – think a cross between a late-night radio guru and a cheesy motivational speaker. Brugh delivers every punchline with perfect comic timing, and his chemistry with Falkner is spot-on. In fact, one critic jokes that Carl “deserves a place in the pantheon of Kiwi oddball characters”​. The movie’s biggest laugh comes from a climactic line that Brugh nails, and throughout he provides the goofy counterbalance to Toby’s sweetness.

Aidee Walker’s Emma (Toby’s mom) is solid, playing the frantic-but-loving mother who worries about her son’s dating woes. While she isn’t in the film nearly as much as Toby, Phoebe or Carl, her warm presence helps humanize Toby (she’s why he faked those girlfriends in the first place). The rest of the cast – including Owen Black as Brad and a few cameo bit players – does competent work in their smaller roles. Overall, the ensemble is very low-key (it is a $100K movie, after all), but they gel well and clearly knew they were in a goofy film, so nobody tries to be more serious than the script allows.

Critics and fans alike have generally praised the performances for making a crazy premise feel real. Stuff and the NZ Herald both remarked that Falkner and Brugh were strong in their roles, and local blogger Darren (of “Darren’s World of Entertainment”) lauded Falkner for making Toby “endearingly sweet and innocent rather than borderline psychotic,” while calling Brugh’s Carl an “utterly brilliant scene-stealing” creation​. In sum, the cast carries the film – if Toby or Carl were unlikable, the movie would fall flat. But they’re not, so the film survives its more cringey plot points.

Cinematography and Visual Style

Visually, How to Meet Girls from a Distance has a straightforward, bright look that suits its light-hearted tone. Matty Warmington’s cinematography (shot on HDCAM) mostly focuses on wide, sunny exteriors in Wellington parks, cafés and city streets, giving the film a distinctly Kiwi feel. There aren’t any flashy camera moves or arty color palettes here – it plays it safe with clean coverage. One reviewer notes that the film “makes great use of its Wellington location”​, and indeed you’ll spot plenty of real New Zealand backdrops (sunny gardens, suburban homes, etc.) as Toby skulks around. The lighting is cheerful and practical – no moody shadows or handheld grit. This plain style actually helps the comedy: you can clearly see everyone and everything during the farcical spying scenes.

Because the budget was low, effects and production design are minimal. For example, when Toby spies on Phoebe, there’s no elaborate spy-tech or montage; often it’s just a jump cut or a chase through bushes. Editing (also by Warmington) is snappy in the comic moments – like quick cuts between Toby hiding behind bins or swapping CDs in her stereo – but sometimes a bit uneven. A few scenes feel a little long (the movie knows it’s absurd, so it milks some jokes), and the pacing can slow in the middle. But overall it keeps moving briskly, giving you another gag every minute or so.

In a Screen Rant-esque way, you might compare the look to a bright, indie rom-com – nothing too stylized. Some of the wackier scenes (a ridiculous night club dance, a trip to a brothel as part of Carl’s “training”) lean on colorful set pieces, but again done on the cheap. There’s an endearing simplicity: one fight breaks out at a vet’s office, it’s shot in one take with people screaming; another involves Toby angrily shredding Phoebe’s junk mail. These moments aren’t slick, but they’re shot and edited cleanly enough that you never lose track of the (surprisingly coherent) action.

In short, the visual style is functional: it frames the comedy without stealing focus. It reminds you that this is a kiwi indie comedy, not a Hollywood production – and embraces that. The screen simply shows what’s happening, and the humor carries the weight.

Release, Reception and Ratings

How to Meet Girls from a Distance had a modest theatrical release in New Zealand. Distributed by Madman NZ (a company known for releasing cult and indie titles), it opened on November 1, 2012 in about a dozen theatres​. Its total NZ box office was only NZ$65,168​ – a tiny sum by any standard. This reflects its microbudget nature and niche appeal. (It doesn’t appear to have had a major Australian or international theatrical release, beyond film festivals.) For streaming, the NZ Film Commission makes it available on its “New Zealand On Demand” platform​, so locals can still watch it online. Outside NZ, it’s mostly found on specialty streamer sites or DVD.

Critically, the response has been mildly positive – more appreciative than ecstatic. Since it’s so obscure, mainstream reviews are few. The NZ Herald gave it a good review and a 4/5 score, calling it “wacky, witty” and “genuinely funny”​. Francesca Rudkin of the Herald praised the team for achieving “the impossible” in six months and making a fun film​, and she noted that the premise could be creepy but is handled sweetly by Falkner’s performance​. A blogger review calls it a “minor NZ cinematic miracle” and a “commendably good effort,” highlighting the charm and laughs (and even applauding its Wellington shots)​. On the other hand, some viewers might wince at Toby’s stalking antics – one critic suggests sensitive viewers might not enjoy how far he goes. But the prevailing tone from critics is, “Well played, Kiwi indie! It’s low-budget but surprising in how much it entertains.”

On aggregate sites, ratings are sparse. Rotten Tomatoes only has one professional critic review (the NZ Herald), giving it a 4/5, so the Tomatometer sits at 50% with essentially one fresh vote​. Audience scores are hardly any better documented; letterboxd and IMDb exist but with very few ratings. IMDb itself (which unfortunately we can’t scrape directly here) reportedly lists it around 6.0/10 from a few hundred votes, suggesting a mildly positive fan reaction. (User reviews on IMDb range from “Cracking kiwi comedy” and “hysterical” to notes about its slow pacing – a mix of affection and critique.) On letterboxd, a handful of users have given it roughly 3-4 stars.

To quote one enthusiastic fan: “How to Meet Girls from a Distance is highly amusing, utterly rewarding and a totally unmissable experience”​. That might be overstating it a bit – it’s hardly a masterpiece – but it captures the spirit. In general, people who see it tend to applaud its creativity given the budget, its endearing characters, and its commitment to silliness. Its flaws (uneven pacing, occasional cringey moments, the fact you’re rooting for a stalker) are usually forgiven because the film clearly knows it’s ridiculous.

In summary: How to Meet Girls from a Distance flew under most radars, but those who watched it generally found it a “funny, kooky lesson on falling in love”​. It isn’t on lists of great comedies or widely reviewed, but it achieved what it set out to do: make people laugh and say, “Only in New Zealand would someone win a film contest with this crazy idea.” Its critical reception is modest but leaned positive, and audiences (especially Kiwis) seem charmed by its earnest oddball humor.

Box Office and Distribution

As mentioned, the film’s commercial footprint is very small. In New Zealand it earned only about NZ$65K total​ – equivalent to a film run of a few thousand tickets. Its opening weekend was only ~$11.8K from 12 screens​, which is an ultra-niche result. Given the modest release, there’s no data for other territories on Box Office Mojo, so we can assume it didn’t chart internationally. Madman Entertainment (NZ) handled the theatrical, and it showed in local cinemas (often paired with festivals or as a festival winner showcase) in late 2012​.

After theaters, it popped up on DVD (for example, I found an Australian DVD listing) and on the NZ Film Commission’s own streaming service​. It’s not on any major US streaming platforms that I’ve found; the only way Western audiences see it is via specialty sites or imported disc. In New Zealand, however, it became somewhat of a cult oddity, especially as a proof-of-concept of the Make My Movie scheme. It also got screened in a few international festivals (Beijing, Hola AUNZ in Sydney/Melbourne, China’s Golden Rooster & Hundred Flowers, etc. as per NZFC site​), which helped publicize it abroad.

None of this added much to its box office revenue – the international festival buzz is more trivia. But it does have a legacy: it showed other NZ indie filmmakers that even a tiny comedy can find an audience, and it launched Richard Falkner’s career a bit (he’s done more NZ TV and short films since). For distribution, one could say it achieved “grassroots” status: made by filmmakers, released by a niche distributor, and discovered by audiences largely through word-of-mouth or press interest in its contest origin.

Verdict

In the end, How to Meet Girls from a Distance is exactly what it advertises: a kooky Kiwi comedy about the absurd lengths one man will go to win a crush. It’s not polished or high-concept, but it has a genuine inventiveness born of necessity. The filmmakers clearly bet their hearts (and a $100K budget) on delivering laughs, and in large part, it works. There are moments that make you squirm (Toby’s methods are legitimately creepy on paper), but the film undercuts that with charm – mainly through Falkner’s self-aware performance and Brugh’s scene-stealing Carl. If you like loose, goofy comedies about romance gone off the rails, this is a hidden treat.

It will never be mistaken for a big-budget rom-com, and it wears its indie status on its sleeve. Some viewers might be put off by the stalker premise or shaky pacing, but fans of deadpan Kiwi humor will enjoy its offbeat style. The punchlines range from broad to delightful, and by the finale you might actually root for Toby despite yourself.

Score: ★★★½☆ (3.5/5)

A goofy, resourceful NZ rom-com that overcomes its low budget with sheer charm and humor.